Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Larry Summers Out, Next Up: A Woman???

Larry Summers is stepping down from his post as the head of the President's Economics Council and returning to all of his female fans on the faculty at Harvard. According to the WSJ's account of his resignation, his departure is driven partially by a desire to return to Harvard before January so that he won't lose his tenure. You see, you never want to lose that tenure because outside of academics, it is impossible to be completely ineffective without eventually losing your job. Tenure guarantees the ability to do nothing, keep your paycheck, and occasionally run off at the mouth about something that offends a bunch of people, all while continuing to look either peeved or fast asleep in every single newspaper stock photo next to articles detailing your gaffes.

Moving on to the next question: Who's going to replace Mr. Summers in that ever crucial role of continuing to pour all kinds of stimulus down the drain? Or making sure the banking sector isn't truly reformed but just continues to siphon off money from the public sector? A few candidates: Anne Mulcahy, formerly of Xerox? But, um, she's a woman. How about Diana Farrell, the Deputy National Economic Council Director? Ack!! Another woman. The third candidate? OMG, Laura Tyson, an economist from UC Berkeley! What is with all these women? How are they ever going to do Larry's job? Everybody knows they are not that smart. Well at least back in the comfy confines of academia, Mr. Summers won't have to read the WSJ to find out who replaced him.

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